My role as a designer is quite broad. I started out as a graphic designer, designing mostly for print media and textiles. I eventually delved into UI and UX when I began web design and development (WordPress).
Being a designer means collaborating with many people and – not just clients. In my current job I have to collaborate with my bosses, business analysts, back-end and front-end developers, animators etc. It’s not an easy feat but it is what it is.
I am quite used to my designs being rejected, it’s really nothing personal. I do understand that the goal is to provide the clients the best output in terms of design and experience. Although I do give my best, I am not perfect – and it is what it is.
Lately things have gotten quite out of hand. Without getting into the details: I have received tonnes of non-constructive or unfounded feedback. And i was subjected to rash decisions – decisions that made no sense given the circumstance or situation. It was horrible and it was unfair.
It’s tough getting over the experience – I feels like my capability as a designer was questioned… doubted. Even now I am still reeling from the experience. But I’ll get over it in time.
The last smartphone I used was the iPhone SE. It was a very nice phone but I sold it because it dawned on me that I was only using it for Facebook – well apart from call/text. Why not buy a basic phone and use my laptop? So I sold my iPhone and bought a Nokia 3310.
The experience switching from smartphone to a dumb phone was initially jarring. Suddenly I realised I no longer have something to use to while away time while waiting – say in an airport or waiting for someone in a restaurant. And I have to admit the change was uncomfortable at first.
Now I am used to not having a smartphone. There were times though where I yearned to have one. But recently I found something that made me decide NOT to buy a new smartphone: BATTERY.
If you research about battery tech, what we have now is quite ancient compared to the hardware where it is being used. We’re still stuck with lithium-ion batteries which, in a smartphone, would last only about 2 years at best.
Constantly changing smartphones may be alright to some of you especially if you’re in a mobile plan. Or if you’re rich and you are able upgrade whenever the new-gen phones arrive. I am not in these groups. I buy things that I love especially gadgets; and I intend to use them until they’re completely obsolete. So until a new battery tech arrives that can last for years, I won’t buy a new smartphone – not even if it is a Nokia.
Recently life has been pretty hectic. For the past few weeks it has been a roller-coaster ride. Hah, as if I am not used to life’s ups and downs.
There has been some really bad going on. And for the past few weeks my mood has gravitated towards anger and hatred. And I could barely hide the feeling. Just when things could get worse, there’s always a light at the end.
I remembered one of the best way to rid off anger is to let it go. It is true. The other one is, I asked myself: What makes me happy? At first I thought of the material stuff that are good. But then I remembered YOU. And in an instant.. things were better.
Acquainted with death
We all die, it is what it is. This is a dying world and everything around us and the things we love will perish one day. And it has come to a point that I am no longer pretending that death is nonexistent in my life – I already lost many things that are dear to me. And I will not pretend I will lose more in the future. It is what it is. I am already acquainted with death and I know all the things I love, all the things I hold dear will one day vanish.
All is vanity
Whoever you are and wherever you came from, I see you as you truly are. We are all equal. I know in death you and I will be just that – equal. You can’t bring your wealth with you. In death there is no poor, no rich, no status or whatever power or position that we hold while in the flesh. All things are vanity. Pride… thinking we are something or someone but in death we give up even our flesh. I know because I sought out the truth.
Glory of kings
It is good to be rich and I do desire to have enough money to not be careful about it. Money is not evil. But there are far greater things than this world can offer – things greater than mammon or even power and glory. It is what I strive to gain. I know what these things are but I do not wish to reveal it. It is the glory of kings to search out a matter.\
I still am human. I am flawed. And in many ways I am foolish. But it has come to a point that I no longer think the way most people think and that my ways are no longer the ways of men. I sought to become one of the greatest; and I asked… and I got it. But it totally changed me the way I am.
I am not rellay sure about this but I believe I used to write using my right hand until for some time I decided to switch to my left hand. I write with my left hand but when I play sports like tennis or do martial arts I can choose either hands as my primary.
If we’re going to go technical, I may be more ambisinistral than ambidextral which means that neither of my hands are dominant. For me that means my strength is in my right arm while precision and accuracy is in my left. So when I play tennis, I can perform powerful swings with my right BUT with less control over where the ball goes. And with my left, I have greater control on where I want the ball to go BUT at a weaker swing.
So what’s the point in this post? Nothing but vanity really. This has been inside my head for a long time and I just want to share this. There may be a correlation to me being ambidextrous and other aspects of myself or my life but I cannot pinpoint at this time.
I have been desiring to revamp my website but I tend to procrastinate which is very bad. To break the habit I decided to finish it as soon as possible. And here it is. It may be very similar to the previous version, if you noticed it, but everything is new.
I’ve decided to remove all of my works and start over again because many of the stuff I put here were hastily done – just for the sake I can put them here. I’ll upload my works up again but I’ll put more time and effort in showcasing them.
I’m breaking my procrastination habit – I am back for good and expect new artworks soon!